Hello everyone. I’m writing this on a plane to Los Angeles, in the dark, as most people around me are sleeping. Some hideous man is repeatedly sneezing a few rows away from me and I’d like to go and knock him out as I don’t want his lurgy before my very important trip to the states. I’ve got an important old friend to meet and I’m not talking about my American lady friend. No, I’m talking about Lady Las Vegas here. Vegas is the naughtiest best friend you will ever have, she encourages you to be yourself, to live in the moment, to behave as debaucherously as you want and let loose however you want to. I can’t fucking wait.

But I’m getting ahead of myself I know. I barely covered Japan in my last blog but it’s been three weeks since I’ve been back in the UK and it’s frankly all a bit hazy now. I also don’t want to bore us both by recounting every single thing I did. We did so many cool activities, saw a live geisha show, endured a calligraphy lesion where I learnt to write my name in Japanese. I ate my body weight in sushi, amongst other wonderful foods, visited a million temples, and walked more than I’ve ever done in my life. Out of the several cities we visited, Tokyo was definitely my favourite.  

We also lost one of the group members one day, that was pretty funny. And scary at the same time. Especially as we lost her on a hike, whilst moving from one temple to another. Our tour leader had been suffering badly from food poisoning and neglected to do a head count. Unable to locate her, we returned to the hostel hoping she had made her way back, Our leader turned to me and sighed miserably proclaiming let “Jesus take the wheel.”That might just be one of the best expressions I’ve ever heard, and of course it comes from an American country song.  Luckily, our missing friend turned up, but she was not a happy bunny, and hated everyone going forwards.

One of the best activities we did, had to be the zen meditation lesson, with a real live monk in a temple. I actually believe I went into some sort of a trance, as I sat cross legged, staring several feet in front of me. The monk paced around the room with a large wooden instrument, ready to smack you on your shoulders if you lost concentration. We all got a taste of the stick once to experience it, (it fucking hurt) and others got the stick a few times. I managed to avoid the beating and have decided that meditation might be the way forward. If I was to take up a religion it would definitely be Buddhism. One of the monks had written a book about zen, and one of the mottos is all about living in the moment. We are all guilty of wishing away our days and one of the greatest things I think I’ve learned in Japan is about enjoying each day and being present in the moment.

 My favourite day might have been in Hakone, visiting Mount Fuji, which is the famous volcano im Japan. It would definitely have been a highlight, if we had managed to see it that is. We were supposed to go up by cable car, but the volcanic gases were too strong which meant it was too dangerous so they shut the cable car down. We had travelled ages to get there too, which was such a pain in the arse. The day was redeemed however, as we visited a natural spring or as they are called in Japan, onsen. An onsen is a naked hot spring that people visit to relax. Ha I know what you are thinking, that it sounds a bit untoward. Well it isn’t. Unfortunately. I got quite excited at the thought of potentially seeing my tour leader in the buff in a hot steamy springs, but they separate the women and men in two areas. Gutted. You can’t wear a bathing suit – everyone just goes buck naked into the room, where you shower down, before climbing into naturally hot springs, indoors and out. Being the only three English women (as only three of us were brave enough to do it naked) we were all extremely self conscious of having our foofs exposed. I’m pretty body confident so I didn’t feel too bad but it was a bit awkward at first. It was very interesting to see all the Japanese women naked. They certainly like a natural woman over there – I’ve never seen so much bush. They have bush for days man, I’m not even kidding. Some of them were in definite need of a trim, but perhaps big bush is in. When we came out I asked the guys if the rumours were true about Japanese men having small sausages, but they wouldn’t tell me shit. Spoilsports.

It was our last night with our American tour leader as another was taking over the next day. We were staying in a really traditional place in the mountains, with futons to sleep on (we also had mattresses on top of them) and were given Kimono style, traditional loungewear to sleep in. I noticed when the bedrooms were organised that my fine American tour leader had his own room. We all went to bed relatively early and I lay in bed thinking about joining him. We had sat next to each other at dinner and I felt the vibes were positive but he was still really professional. If I tried to go in his room and he rejected me that would be highly embarassing. But on the other hand I would never see him again so what would it matter?

I got up quietly, trying not to wake the others in my room and tiptoed down the hall way in my kimono pyjamas. My heart was pounding. I reached his door and knocked lightly before sliding it open. He was lying in bed reading his phone, and looked up quickly asking if something was the matter. He lay in his kimono, looking extremely fit. I replied that nothing was the matter but asked if he wanted some company. He looked at me for a minute in silence, before standing without speaking and walked towards me, reaching for the door handle. I thought he was going to show me it. But instead he locked it. He towered over me, and bent down and tilted my chin slightly then leaned into kiss me on the lips. The kiss was hot. As we kissed, he reached into the side of my kimono and began teasing my naked breast. My hands wandered and slipped beneath the thick material to reach his dick, which was hard. His hand ventured lower between my legs, stroking me whilst I massaged him, making him harder. He started to murmur slightly, and kissed me more urgently, feeling how wet I had become. Unravelling my kimono belt, he pulled off the robe letting it fall to the ground and stood staring at me, naked. I stood as he kissed my breasts before kneeling to kiss my stomach and placing his lips on my clit, began to lick me gently. Jesus take the wheel or what. As I increasingly felt more hot and trembling from the pressure, he pushed me onto the white billowy mattress, losing his robe entirely to reveal, his muscular stomach and a giant erection. It was long and thick and I wanted it inside me like yesterday. As he leaned over me I pulled him closer kissing him urgently and urged him to put it in as I couldn’t wait a second longer. He felt incredible inside me and fucked me softly at first, before whipping me onto my front and taking me from behind. He felt so big that I told him to go slowly and he immediately slowed down the pace, agonisingly so, pulling back all the way to the tip and sliding in again gently. I moaned and he whispered to me to be quiet, and I had to bury my head in the pillows as I came, with him following shortly after. It was intense. I of course woke him up early for seconds, with my usual wake up blowjob and straddled him until he came again. His dick was wonderful and I wanted to keep it. A dick like that is for life not just for Xmas. 

Back home in the UK after the most amazing three months, the party bus continued. My American friend had come to stay. I took her to a boozy brunch on her first weekend and it was better than I could have ever hoped for. After several hours of unlimited prosecco at Flesh and Buns, a bit pissed, we decided to continue on to a rooftop bar. Drinks on a roof, are as you know, one of my favourite things. Unfortunately when we arrived at Radio bar it was shut for refurbishment. How dare they. But there was loads of music coming from STK, the restaurant below radio, so we decided to check it out and had stumbled across a massive Sunday day party.  It was rammed, full of hot men, bunny dancers, people dancing on tables and even a oompa lumpa. I’m not being mean here, he was a dwarf dressed as an actual oompa lumpa. It was only the next day we realised the whole thing was a Charlie and the chocolate factory theme- there was even chocolate fountains being brought out as desert. We stood at the bar waiting for a drink and a handsome man flashed me a dazzling smile.  He was Brazilian and invited us to join his table. Of course we accepted. He was georgeous. He soon set his sights on Rachel and the two of them were necking on like no tomorrow. When it came to going home he asked Rachel if he could come with us, placing his hand on my bum, as he stated that he knew I wanted him to. The cheeky devil. Rachel looked at me and I smiled mischievously. An hour later we are back at my house, in my room and things are heating up. Mr Brazil is sat on the end of my bed kissing Rachel, whilst I’m undoing his trousers and stroking his dick beneath his boxers. He is so hard and this is going to be fun. I pull his dick out and lick him slowly and he moans as he is still kissing Rachel. He has one hand stroking her clit through her panties, and the other stroking mine. I love to hear him moaning, completely at my mercy.  Rachel strokes his nipples, and he practically wimpers. I put the whole of his dick in my mouth and it’s almost too much for him, he has to tell me to slow down. I devour him slowly, getting more turned on as I feel how hard he is in my mouth. I want him inside me so I sit on him and he continues to stroke Rachel whilst I kiss him and he’s so close. Rachel wants her turn. She takes his hand and lies on the bed, giving him a fuck me face. As they have sex, I watch and touch myself. I can see that both of them are close and as I hear Rachel orgasm it sends me and him both over the edge, and we all reach the happy spot simultaneously. Hahahah.. Sounds too good to be true right? Well you’d be correct. Dirty people. We sent him packing at STK. 

But we are on a party train that wasn’t stopping and this time we were headed to Newcastle. Joined by an old flame of mine who had been tempted to get the train with us, in case we could sneak into a toilet for some dirty train sex. He would have to wait until later, as I had just got my blow dry done, and I didn’t want to get arrested before the bank holiday weekend. I was tempted though I must admit. Newcastle is my favourite place to party in the UK, and there are always hot men up for the weekend.

Fast forward to my second home, nightclub Tup Tup palace, and we are sat having drinks at some guys table when in walks my old flame. My friend jokes with him that he should be scared, as I’m going to ruin him tonight. I dance for him seductively and we soon decide to go back to his hotel. We have a record to beat. The room is spinning slightly but its manageable and we have blurry sex until we fall asleep. In the early hours I decide it’s time for round two so wake him with a blow job. His dick gets harder in my mouth, and he starts to moan as he wakes up. Touching me until I am soaking, I climb onto him and ride him until we both cum at the same time. This is time it’s not made up. It actually happens regularly with him, and a simultaneous orgasm is one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. 

Four rounds and a shower later, he takes me downstairs for breakfast – dressed in his t shirt and jogging bottoms that are ridiculously too big. We walk into the dining area and there are lots of couples and families sat eating breakfast. Part of me wants the ground to swallow me up, and the other part finds it hilarous. So we sit down and order a full English, before returning back to room to chill. Just before I leave, we go for round 5. A day later and I’m sat on the train returning to London, broken from a heavy weekend. Having stayed with him again the second night, I’m not in a good way. My vagina hates me. But we gave her a real good time -don’t they say 7 times a charm?