It’s been a few weeks since I wrote anything, I’ve been terrible I know. I think I’ve forgotten how to write. My last blog post was leaving Mexico. It seems like a lifetime ago. After a long over night bus ride and a ferry I arrived on island Caye Calker, in Belize and instantly fell in love with the coloured pastel houses and the white, sandy roads.

Caye Calker is a little piece of Caribbean heaven, with amazing cheap lobster, snorkelling trips and as much as rum punch as you can wish for. The nightlife is great and the Rastafarian’s are cute too.

After a few blissful days we headed to San Ignacio for a caving tour in the famous ATM caves. We also visited an iguana sanctuary (I have the scars to prove it – their claws are sharp man) and more Mayan ruins. These ones were pretty cool but I swear I’ve seen enough ruins for an eternity. At this point my tonsillitis has come back with a vengeance and the woman at the pharmacy gives me some random antibiotics that I’ve never heard of, and don’t seem to work. Thoughts of having to go home are extremely depressing and flights are extremely expensive.

We cross the border to Guatemala.

Guatemala is amazing. Flores is a cute town on a lake close to the famous Tikal ruins (more ruins) They were cool but as I said before, once you seen one Mayan ruin you’ve kind of seen them all.

I’m too ill to climb up some of them. I go to see a doctor in Flores who, now I look back at it, suspects my tonsillitis is a sexual transmitted infection. But she doesn’t tell me that directly. She says I’ve had too many antibiotics and charges me an arm and a leg for some natural mouth spray and an anti-viral tablet. Fuck my life. We travel from Flores down to semuc champey which takes an 8 hour bus ride but is so worth it. Semuc champey is in the middle of nowhere and is a series of flat waterfall type pools. They are absolutely incredible.

When we arrive in the nearby town, army style trucks pick up passengers to transport to hostels and with reggaeton blaring, we storm through the jungle to reach our hostel. Catching up with my Aussie girls they have acquired a cute new friend. He’s English, mixed race and I would eat him alive. Literally. He’s a lot younger than me but that hasn’t stopped me before. The hostel owner is also quite handsome, he’s Israeli, early 40s. After a day swimming in the pools, I’m still not feeling too well so opt to chill at the hostel, lazing in the hammocks. The hostel owner offers to take a bunch of us to a local church with an amazing view and drives us out into the wilderness to see a local family making tortillas by hand, and to sample cacao beans. I sit in the front with him of the truck and he tells me about his plans for the hostel and for the local community. His eyes are dark and mischievous and quite compelling. He asks me if I’d like to join him for a drink on his balcony later that evening. Chris rock comes to mind right now, “every time a man is being nice to you, he’s simply offering dick” “how about a drink? How about some dick?” Hmmmm. I say sure to the drink. He leaves us on the mountain, by the church with the most amazing views, but we fear that he will forget to pick us up. He had given us the option of walking over the mountain to meet him after his meeting or waiting to be collected. A bunch of us decide to wait, due to being in flip flops.

Thankfully, he did come back. In the evening a few of us sit drinking and playing games. The hostel owner comes over and joins us before taking his bottle of wine and saying goodnight. I’m wondering whether he still wants me to join him but I don’t know where his room is and go to bed shortly after. There is a knock on my door. One of the hostel workers stands in the door way, handing me a phone. It’s him. He asks me if I’m going to bed yet or if I still want to join him. I follow the little dude to his room and he’s lying in a giant hammock waiting for me, drinking wine. I join him at the opposite end of the hammock and drink with him. He looks at me with sexy, dark eyes and playfully asks if my tits are real. I tell him I grew them myself. He asks if I’m a good kisser, before leaning over and kisses my lips gently. The kissing gets a bit more heated as his tongue plays with mine, and as we shift around in the hammock for him to lie on top of me we lose balance and fall out. I burst out laughing and the hostel dog runs over and licks my face. Moving to the bedroom, I am treated to a very different kind of licking. He licks me until I’m desperate for him to be inside and we rush to put on a condom. The sex wasn’t great I’m not going to lie and he comes almost instantly as I ride him and I’m not even close. He tells me to stay, and I can’t sleep very well, thinking about how I need to pack to leave in a few hours. I decide to give the sex a second chance though and wake him with a blow job, before riding him, and within minutes he comes again. I have to leave like 20 mins later, so say my goodbyes, and rush to pack.

Onwards and upwards my friends it can only get better from here.